If I was allowed to write about toenails on a food blog, I would have a good story to tell. But sadly, my kids have ruled this topic off limits.  

They are convinced that writing about finding toenails in weird random places in your home might get people nauseated, or turn them off from your recipes. 
Or that they might make people think you have a dysfunctional family. I mean, who finds toenails in random places? 
So I won't. Write about toenails, I mean. I'll just jump right to this very appealing not at all nauseating kale salad. Without further ado.  

Kale Salad with Apples, Hazelnuts and Acorn Squash
This recipe is adapted slightly from Food52. 

 1 acorn squash
1 bunch kale, cut in ribbons
2 scallions, sliced thin
3 tablespoons olive oil, divided
1 tablespoon rice vinegar
kosher salt to tast
1 green apple, peeled, cored and sliced thin
1/4 cup hazelnuts, chopped and toasted

 Preheat the oven to 350*. Wash and dry the squash and put it on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper or foil.

 Bake the squash for about ½ hour, more or less, till it 'gives' a little when you squeeze it. You want it slightly softened so the cutting is easier, but not baked through.

 Remove the squash from the oven and turn the oven up to 400*.

 Use a large knife to cut the squash from stem to pole, making two symmetrical halves. Let them sit on the counter, cut side up, for about ten minutes so they are cool enough to handle.

 Use a metal spoon to scoop out the seeds and wet pulp. Discard them.Peel the squash with a paring knife. Cut the squash into wedges or chunks. 

 Spread 1 tablespoon olive oil on a baking sheet and spread the squash in one layer. Brush some more oil on the squash and sprinkle with salt. Roast for about 20 minutes, mixing here and there, till browning. Remove from the oven and cool. 

 Meanwhile, put the kale and scallions in a large bowl. Add the oil, vinegar, and salt. 

 Use your hands (wear gloves if you like) to massage the dressing into the kale until it's well coated and you can feel the kale softening and wilting a bit. This will take 2-3 minutes. Set the salad aside. 

 Immediately before serving, add the apples, hazelnuts and squash to the salad and toss to combine.